Death and Life
by jtav
Summary: Korra sits with Katara as she dies. Life, love and death tangle together for the Avatar.


"You don't have to be here," Korra said. "You've got better things to do than sit around waiting for—" She swallowed, not quite able to finish the sentence. _Waiting for death._

Asami didn't say anything, just laced her fingers in Korra's. The sat at the farthest end of the hut and for the first time Korra felt out of place in Katara's home. Jinora's eyes were red from crying and even Kya looked somber. They were losing their mother, their grandmother. Katata had been Korra's first and favorite master and later her healer. But Katara had had many students and many patients. Korra was not here for herself, but for who she used to be.

The door to the bedroom opened. Tenzin's skin was ashen, his shoulders stooped. "She's asking for you," he told Korra. His voice was barely above a whisper.

Korra rose and followed, the squeak of her boots sounding unnaturally loud. Katara's room smelled of medicinal herbs. She lay in bed, covers pulled to her chin and hair loose. It was the first time Korra had ever seen her without the loops. And that, more than anything, made it real. Katara was dying. A burning seized Korra's throat.

"Aang?" Katara blinked. "Her voice was raspy. I'm sorry, Korra. For a moment, I almost thought… I miss him so. All of them."

Korra knelt by the bed. Whatever remained of Aang in her felt as if it were being shredded by a tiger-hawk's talons. For the first time in years, she missed her connection to her past lives. There were old stories of the Avatar manifesting as the previous one when their past live's love was dying. Korra wished she could summon Aang for just this moment. But Aang remained as lost to her as ever. "I'm sorry."

"None of that. I've had a good life." Katara stroked her hand feebly. "I want you to do two things for me."

"If you end Asami ever decide to adopt, promise me you'll do better by your own children than Aang and I did."

Korra opened her mouth to protest. Whether and what kind of future she and Asami would have had been a topic carefully avoided. Talking about marriage and family meant they were expecting permanence. She had thought that as long as they took it one day at a time, they could, as if they were working some ancient magic, avoid another disaster that would rip them apart again. But it was not so. And really, she couldn't imagine building a life and raising a family with anyone else.

"I promise." She would spend time with all her children. Not keep secrets from them. There would always be her Avatar duties, but they would come first. What was the point of knowing who you were in a past life if you couldn't improve?

"Just…stay for a while."

So Korra did. Their breathing was shallow. Korra thought of her first tentative water whips, the first time she had healed a bruise. She had done so much, but it all began with this woman who had believed in her. If not for Katara, she might never have made it to Republic City. Never met Mako and Bolin. Never met Asami. Katara had lost her mother and brother and husband before their times, but she had given Korra so much.

 _Of course she did, Korra. Katara was the most loving person I ever met._

Korra's head snapped up. The voice was coming from inside her own head. And it sounded just like Aang's. "What? How? You're gone."

 _Our connection is broken, but a man once told me that those we love our never truly gone. Your soul is my soul. How could I not be here for this?_ The voice softened. _And Korra? Listen to her. Treat those you love better than I did._

Together, they listened to Katara's breathing become shallower and shallower until it finally stopped. Tears filled Korra's eyes and she kissed Katara's forehead, "I love you," she said in a voice not quite her own.

The rest of them knew what had happened as soon as they saw the look on Korra's face. She watched the faces crumble and heard their quiet cries. Asami found her in the midst of them and put her arms around Korra. Korra leaned against her, feeling empty and grateful all at once. "I love you," she repeated, this time as herself.

 _There is more than one cycle in this world. Out of grief, new loves grow and remaining loves strengthen. You will have that family and you will keep your promises. Someday she will die of old age and you will manifest to see her one last time. And so the Avatar after you will live and love and die in his turn. Grief becomes love becomes grief becomes love._

Korra bit her lip. She would lose Asami someday. She had almost lost her so many times already. If she were a cynic, she would wonder why she bothered.

 _But you are not a cynic. For now live, Avatar Korra._

Korra nodded. For now, she would live her life. She led Asami outside. When they returned home, Korra would ask her and they would begin to build a life together. And they would not be so alone.


End file.
